You can't force yourself to be passionate

Discuss any questions in English. Practise your writing skills.

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gavenkoa
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#1

Сообщение gavenkoa »

Do you?
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#2

Сообщение Michelangelo »

No, you can't. You can pretend to be, but it won't continue for ever - you are doomed to get tired of pretending unless you are a good actor.
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#3

Сообщение acapnotic »

This idea of forcing yourself is suspicious. Who forces whom? Are you one or two? If you are one, who do you force? And if you are two, which of them is you? Are you sure you choose the right one?
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gavenkoa
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#4

Сообщение gavenkoa »

Michelangelo пишет: 04 сен 2020, 12:37 you are doomed to get tired of pretending unless you are a good actor.
I've seen alternative idea: our diligence is like a muscle, develops with a time, but still gets tired as muscles ))

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#5

Сообщение gavenkoa »

acapnotic пишет: 04 сен 2020, 15:01 This idea of forcing yourself is suspicious
Why? It is OK to drive yourself to success ))

Like getting x10 salary just moving to NY/London. And English is an important precondition for the move. And it requires like 3-4 year of work... We are getting discouraged if we see no effect in 10 minutes or hours. But if it is 4 years we see nothing ((
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#6

Сообщение acapnotic »

gavenkoa пишет: 04 сен 2020, 15:11 Why? It is OK to drive yourself to success ))
Well, that's a strange question because I explained why in my post above. Who are you going to drive? If you are the one driving, who is the one driven? Are you one person or two? One of you wants to move to London and the other doesn't?
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#7

Сообщение gavenkoa »

acapnotic пишет: 04 сен 2020, 15:29 Who are you going to drive?
myself only and heirs when they arrive ))
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#8

Сообщение Alistar »

It's not an easy task to become passionate about something, but sometimes if you keep at it for a while and begin to understand its complexities you can end up inherently fascinated and passionate. Maybe need to develop curiosity and become passionate about being passionate first.
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#9

Сообщение gavenkoa »

Alistar пишет: 09 сен 2020, 18:17 Maybe need to develop curiosity and become passionate about being passionate first.
I think this is in the past for me because the problem: I can't stay passionate 100% of time. The fuel burns out like within 2h and I need recharging...
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#10

Сообщение mustang »

gavenkoa,

You can develop a passion for something over time but you cannot conjure it up out of nothing.

You have to be genuinely interested in something, to begin with. That will keep you going when you first encounter all sorts of obstacles and pitfalls on your way to excellence in whatever you have decided to be really good at.

Eventually as your body of knowledge grows and you feel that you can take on even more complex problems within your area of expertise and do really cool stuff in the process the curiosity that you had at the outset transforms into something bigger, into a lifelong passion.
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#11

Сообщение gavenkoa »

mustang пишет: 11 сен 2020, 18:45 You have to be genuinely interested in something, to begin with.
I find it difficult to keep up with desires after a tiring work day.

I saw one tip addressing that: get up earlier and to whatever you planned. This way no one can bother you (kids/wife/relatives/friends sleep at this time).

English also takes lots of time and it is not the goal, it is just an intermediate stage that opens other opportunities (communication/relocation/job market). Ending with English will free like 1-2h per day and that something within 5h = 24h - 8h of sleep - 8h of work - 3h of commute+bath+meal+cleaning+shopping

It is so tempting to drop job to free 8h a day except for the downsides ))
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#12

Сообщение VictorB »

gavenkoa,
What do you mean by the word "passionate"?
As far as its definitions go, to me, the question seems somewhat odd.
And so does the idea of one's forcing themselves to pretend to have the character trait they don't even have. If the question is about fake affection--which is a feeling, not a feature of one's personal nature—then with some talent for acting, applied to suit a particular practical purpose of pretending to feel something you don't really feel, you surely can make one believe you without too much effort from your part. Millions of couples live happily pretending to have somewhat tenderer feelings toward each other than they really have. What gives? Pretending just becomes a second nature to them )
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#13

Сообщение Alistar »

Ending with English will free like 1-2h per day and that something within 5h = 24h - 8h of sleep - 8h of work - 3h of commute+bath+meal+cleaning+shopping
I've just made English a part of my daily life. My mobile phone\PC is in English, I read news/social media only in English, watch movies with the original soundtrack, read books in english etc. I feel like, judging by your posts, you are at a stage when there is no need to consciously spend time on it anymore.
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#14

Сообщение gavenkoa »

VictorB пишет: 11 сен 2020, 20:59 What do you mean by the word "passionate"?
To be honest I forgot proper word for motivation to keep working. I wasn't sure if it is perseverance or what? I couldn't find appropriate word a dictionary. For something that pushes you to reach goals...

After few obstacles I lost interest and need time to recover. The most discouraging thing is time that is necessary to overcome obstacles. If you know that there is no faster way ((
VictorB пишет: 11 сен 2020, 20:59 Pretending just becomes a second nature to them )
Really if you pretend for a long time you'll start to play your role as if it is actual ))

Still our wishes destructive (like we'll eat cakes without stopping if we have unlimited unpunished access to). So artificial control of wishes, setting of limits, accepting loses for greater benefits (stay with wife for the children) is OK. We probably need to keep up only with the life fulfilling wishes.
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#15

Сообщение gavenkoa »

Alistar пишет: 11 сен 2020, 21:09 you are at a stage when there is no need to consciously spend time on it anymore.
I didn't know word "consciously" ((

Recently learned (like 2 weeks ago): conscience & unconscious.

Now learning is rewarding - almost all texts are understandable, and most of rules have seen on practice...
Alistar пишет: 11 сен 2020, 21:09 I've just made English a part of my daily life.
Me too. Like I check charge level of headphones / mp3 / tablet in the evening to be sure that next day all gaps (like tooth cleaning or peeling of potato) will be filled by English speech ))
Последний раз редактировалось gavenkoa 11 сен 2020, 21:36, всего редактировалось 1 раз.
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#16

Сообщение Alistar »

I didn't know word "consciously" ((
Recently learned (like 2 weeks ago): conscience & unconscious.
That's not a big deal. There is an endless stream of new words, just surround yourself with comprehensible input and let your subconscious mind do the heavy lifting while you enjoy an interesting content.
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#17

Сообщение alex789 »

Yes, you can.
Self-discipline is the key.
Develop a habit of doing whatever is required even if you hate it more than anything else in the world, and in X days you will find yourself truly passionate about it. This applies to both mental and physical activities.
Exercising sounds quite a challenging activity, but if you develop a habit of doing pull ups regardless of whether you feel like it or not, in 6 months you'll be able to impress yourself/your friends with your skills.
The challenge, though, is becoming a disciplined person :)
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#18

Сообщение gavenkoa »

alex789 пишет: 12 сен 2020, 20:40 Develop a habit of doing whatever is required even if you hate it more than anything else in the world
Yeah, we don't question habits!

We just follow daily rituals blindly!
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