Перевод с русского на английский

Обсуждение книг на английском языке, домашнее чтение, правила чтения на английском языке. Развитие письменной речи. Эссе, деловое письмо и другие виды письменных работ.

Модератор: zymbronia

zlodiak
Сообщения: 76
Зарегистрирован: 30 дек 2018, 12:15
Благодарил (а): 75 раз
Поблагодарили: 2 раза

#1

Сообщение zlodiak »

Не уверен, что пишу в нужном разделе, но хотел бы попросить оценить мою попытку перевода первых двух абзацев Капитанской дочки. Буду рад, если укажете хотя бы на самые грубые ошибки.
Captains daughter.

My father had served for lord Minih and had retired in 17.. Then he lived in his Simbirsk village. There father was married. Wife was called Avdotya Vasilyevna, she was poor gentleman daughter. Our family consisted of nine children. All my brothers and sisters had died.

Before my birth i was enrolled to Semyonovski regiment. To do this a close relative has provided assistance. If girl will be born, then my father will make a declaration about soldier death. He decided that way. Army authorities considered me as a vacation.

Nowadays education rules have changed. After fifth birthday a was given to Savyeliych. He was my mentor because he didnt drink wine and has stableman profession. With his help i learned to read and to write. At that time i was eleven years old.

After that my father hired monsieur Bopreu, who was french. Monsieur had lived in Moscow, then had come to our village. He brought annual stock wine and olive oil. But Savyeliych grumbled, he didnt like the monsieur Bopreu coming. Savyeliych thought no need to spend money.
tourist
Сообщения: 1765
Зарегистрирован: 04 мар 2018, 21:25
Благодарил (а): 249 раз
Поблагодарили: 865 раз

#2

Сообщение tourist »

хотя бы на самые грубые ошибки
you've made numerous mistakes in nearly every single sentence.
Too many to mention.
This is a difficult story to translate.
Quite an obsolete language with a very distinctive style.
Here is a professional translation.

Try something relatively modern.
Something written for children maybe ..
Аватара пользователя
VictorB
Сообщения: 3396
Зарегистрирован: 26 янв 2019, 15:27
Благодарил (а): 821 раз
Поблагодарили: 706 раз

#3

Сообщение VictorB »

You seem to be trying to translate some version adapted for small Russian kids or to retell it for English-speaking ones:-)
tourist пишет: 12 апр 2020, 17:31 Here is a professional translation.
To this link I can't help adding this one:
http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/13511
СпойлерПоказать
THE DAUGHTER OF THE COMMANDANT

CHAPTER I. — SERGEANT OF THE GUARDS

My father, Andréj Petróvitch Grineff, after serving in his youth under Count Münich, had retired in 17—with the rank of senior major. Since that time he had always lived on his estate in the district of Simbirsk, where he married Avdotia, the eldest daughter of a poor gentleman in the neighbourhood. Of the nine children born of this union I alone survived; all my brothers and sisters died young. I had been enrolled as sergeant in the Séménofsky regiment by favour of the major of the Guard, Prince Banojik, our near relation. I was supposed to be away on leave till my education was finished. At that time we were brought up in another manner than is usual now.

From five years old I was given over to the care of the huntsman, Savéliitch, who from his steadiness and sobriety was considered worthy of becoming my attendant. Thanks to his care, at twelve years old I could read and write, and was considered a good judge of the points of a greyhound. At this time, to complete my education, my father hired a Frenchman, M. Beaupré, who was imported from Moscow at the same time as the annual provision of wine and Provence oil. His arrival displeased Savéliitch very much.
"It seems to me, thank heaven," murmured he, "the child was washed, combed, and fed. What was the good of spending money and hiring a 'moussié,' as if there were not enough servants in the house?"
Ответить
  • Похожие темы
    Ответы
    Просмотры
    Последнее сообщение

Вернуться в «Чтение и письмо»