The novice begins to

[Beginner]

acapnotic
Why is your health so bad? Have you worked hard at physical work? Or do you have a lot of bad habits? Alcohol, drugs, prostitutes... Or maybe your health is due to genetics? Is it possible that this is the result of a traffic accident?

[acapnotic]

Trying to get closer to the God's likeness?

Closer to myself, at peace with myself. If you have a dislocated ankle and want to fix it, is it about God's likeness? You probably just want to get rid of the pain and the inconvenience.

I'm telling you outright - your life doesn't matter. Nobody's does.

Then why does it matter whether I indulge in self-pity or not? Why do you bother to reply to my posts? Why do I bother to reply to yours? Are we possessed and doing it against our will? :)

Feeling any better?

Sometimes. But this is just a painkiller. It doesn't solve the problem. If nothing matters, then life is pointless, which is itself a painful realization.

[acapnotic]

Or maybe your health is due to genetics?

Maybe. We don't really know our bodies, their weak points, until something breaks down. Alcohol, for example, is poisonous, but some people can drink it on a regular basis, while others can't. Or someone gets infected by a virus while someone else doesn't. Some people develop neuroses and live under chronic stress, which suppresses their immune system and makes them easier targets for diseases. There are usually multiple factors, I guess.

[mustang]

I'm telling you outright - your life doesn't matter. Nobody's does.

You are in a very dark place mentally, Bree, if you truly believe that human life is not worth a damn.

I know there's a lot of things in life that we simply cannot control, they just happen randomly for no apparent reason. Hell, the universe itself is a very strange place to live. It's still largely unknown to us as we can observe and study roughly 4% of the ordinary visible matter while the rest is mysterious stuff that we call (for lack of a better term) dark matter. But we are a very special species in a sense that we can learn and adapt astonishingly quickly. Our perception of who we are and what really matters is not set in stone but rather is subject to continual change (as our body of knowledge grows).

The more you understand who you are, what really makes you tick, what you fear the most and how that fear affects your life, the more compassionate you become towards other individuals. I am not (yet) this kind of guy and maybe I'll never be but I think what acapnotic is trying to do is highly commendable. Self exploration is hard as f... and not too many people want to go down this road because they are fearful of what they might find there.

[Easy-Breezy English]

at peace with myself

I fail to see how (futile) attempts to fix yourself will lead you to this commendable goal. I've never seen a woman who is any more at peace with herself after countless beauty treatments and plastic surgeries. Not that you are a woman, but the principle is the same, don't you think? How about starting from the other end? Peace first, perfecting later?

Why do you bother to reply to my posts?

Because it's fun. That, to me, is the only point. We are here for one reason or another, or no reason at all. We might as well enjoy it.

[Easy-Breezy English]

Self exploration is hard as f...

As every teenager will surely attest to. :-)

(I like Bree, though. Cute. :-))

[acapnotic]

How about starting from the other end? Peace first, perfecting later?

What perfecting? Is fixing a dislocated ankle perfecting?

Because it's fun. That, to me, is the only point.

Everything that matters does it for some reason. My life matters because you can make fun talking with me. If I didn't exist, could you talk with me and make fun out of it?

[Easy-Breezy English]

Is fixing a dislocated ankle perfecting?

And what's your standard? When will you feel perfectly perfect? When you are at peace with yourself? Ain't gonna happen this way. When you feel like you belong? An unlikely outcome. This seems like a well planned road to nowhere. The advantage would be that you'd be able to pity yourself to your heart's delight. Why waste your limited time on that is beyond me, though. But to each their own, I suppose.

My life matters because you can make fun talking with me.

So, the point of your existence is to entertain me? Ya know what, I think I like this. )))

[acapnotic]

And what's your standard? When will you feel perfectly perfect?

I don't understand what is going on here. I make it clear that my goal isn't perfection and you immediately ask me when I will feel perfectly perfect.

So, the point of your existence is to entertain me?

Yes, to you.

[Easy-Breezy English]

I make it clear that my goal isn't perfection

What is your goal?

[acapnotic]

What is your goal?

Finding and fixing what is dislocated and getting rid of the pain and inconvenience caused but it.

Unnecessary pain and unnecessary inconvenience. Not becoming invincible, unstoppable, a Porsche with no brakes (c) or anything of the kind. Just in case. :)

[Easy-Breezy English]

Finding and fixing what is dislocated and getting rid of the pain and inconvenience caused but it.

How will you know that you've fixed it? When all the pain is gone? When you are completely comfortable? How do you tell the difference between necessary and unnecessary pain/inconvenience?

[acapnotic]

Easy-Breezy English, yes, if the pain is gone, then its cause has been fixed. Pain is unnecessary when it's avoidable, like in my example about a dislocated ankle. I'll be at peace with myself after I find and remove what prevents me from being so -- if it's possible. Success is not guaranteed.

[Easy-Breezy English]

if the pain is gone, then its cause has been fixed

The way you are going about it, it'll never be gone. Like I said, you are starting from the wrong end.

after I find and remove what prevents me from being so -- if it's possible

You could do it right this second if you so chose. Something's keeping you from doing it, though. You might want to think about that. Could it be that you are secretly enjoying the whole thing? Are you scared of being normal? Would you lose your individuality then? Your justification for feeling special? )

How's that for an existential discussion, huh? ))) Can we go back to talking threesomes now? )

[Easy-Breezy English]

I've finally figured out what this conversation reminds me of, yay!!
Bertrand Russell's The Conquest of Happiness. A cool book, even if outdated. And the dude is totally amazing, too.
I read it at a tender age, and I remember that it left quite an impression. Here's couple of quotes:

The essentials of human happiness are simple, so simple that sophisticated people cannot bring themselves to admit what it is they really lack.

Nothing is so dull as to be encased in self, nothing so exhilarating as to have attention and energy directed outward.

We are all prone to the malady of the introvert, who, with the manifold spectacle of the world spread out before him, turns away and gazes only upon the emptiness within.

[acapnotic]

The way you are going about it, it'll never be gone.

What is that way, in your view?

You could do it right this second if you so chose. Something's keeping you from doing it, though.

Yes, and that something is what I have to find and remove, as I wrote above. Where is what you disagree with? I still don't get it.

[Easy-Breezy English]

What is that way, in your view?

Starting from the premise that you are a dislocated ankle.

[acapnotic]

Easy-Breezy English, what premise should I start from, in your opinion?

[Easy-Breezy English]

Easy-Breezy English, what premise should I start from, in your opinion?

Who am I to tell you what to do?

[acapnotic]

Who am I to tell you what to do?

OK, then could you at least clarify what's wrong with fixing a dislocated ankle?

[Easy-Breezy English]

what's wrong with fixing a dislocated ankle?

Nothing. :-) Just like there's nothing wrong with filling a cavity. The problem is that you are neither, and it's a false analogy. You never answered my question, though. Do you enjoy feeling damaged and special? Is this what sets you apart from everyone else?

[acapnotic]

The problem is that you are neither, and it's a false analogy.

But it's your analogy, not mine. I never said I was a dislocated ankle. I gave that example to make it clear that my goal wasn't perfection.

The purspose of your questions is exactly that: to find dislocations and fix them. Isn't enjoying feeling damaged a dislocation? Shouldn't it be fixed?

Before you can try to fix something, you have to find it. You have to recognize and articulate your problems. It's not indulging in self-pity.

[Easy-Breezy English]

Hey, acapnotic, I have a perfect remedy for you. I'm sure you've seen this before, but still. Here goes:



There's nothing wrong with you, boo-hoo. You are a human being, just like everyone else. Get over yourself and move on. )) And dying in a nuclear blast is unlikely to be on the agenda either. You'll have to do it just like everyone else, sorry. :-) Well, maybe with Tyrion by your side, but that's the best I can offer.

[acapnotic]

Easy-Breezy English, that's funny, but how can you stop being afraid of something? When you notice you are afraid, you are afraid already. It's too late to stop the fear from appearing. You can only suppress or hide it. But you still don't know what causes it, and so you can't really stop it.

Ridiculing problems doesn't solve them, unfortunately.

[Easy-Breezy English]

Ridiculing problems doesn't solve them, unfortunately.

It often does, especially if the person has at least half a brain. Which I'm sure you do.
Stop indulging yourself. Just stop it.