Help me find any mistakes, please.

Discuss any questions in English. Practise your writing skills.

Модератор: zymbronia

Vasilisa
Сообщения: 2
Зарегистрирован: 25 июн 2019, 14:12

#1

Сообщение Vasilisa »

Please, help me find any mistakes. Thanks for considering my request.

Why do I deserve to go to a trip to Sydney?
First of all, this competition is a great motivation Stimulus to set goals, find opportunities and win! After all, there is movement in it, there is life! This is my way from school years. I took the best places in the music school, successfully graduated from high school, entered a free department at the medical university.
And now, every day I help my little patients to overcome their illnesses. Great products Forever help me doing this!
I believe in success!
I believe in kindness!
I believe that love will save the world!
I believe that I deserve to win 2 air tickets of the official air carrier QANTAS to the Global Rally 2020 in Sydney!

Thanks for your attention. I’m looking forward to your reply.
Последний раз редактировалось Aksamitka 25 июн 2019, 15:44, всего редактировалось 1 раз.
Причина: Отредактирован заголовок.
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Michelangelo
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#2

Сообщение Michelangelo »

go on a trip

What is the difference between "motivation" and "stimulus"?

As far as I could understand this is your composition, right?

This is my way from school years. --- Maybe "the present perfect" would be a better choice here?

entered a free department at the medical university --- (my idea) - entered a free department OF A medical university
Vasilisa пишет: 25 июн 2019, 14:20 Great products Forever help me doing this!
Is "Forever" a name of those products?

As a matter of fact, I am not sure about the correctness of some collocations (whether some words in your composition are collocated) that is why I won't give my extended suggestions as your variants could be pretty correct, but I just don't know those phrases. Good luck!
Aksamitka
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#3

Сообщение Aksamitka »

Vasilisa, make sure you're writing in English on Practise Your English subforum (where you've posted your thread).
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Chaika
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#4

Сообщение Chaika »

Why I deserve a trip to Sydney (this is not a question)

motivation
I have done ever since my school years.
best ??? I don't understand
in music school
at a medical
help little patients get over
Great ... ??? I don't understand
two tickets from QANTAS
За это сообщение автора Chaika поблагодарил:
Yety
Pupseg
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#5

Сообщение Pupseg »

entered a free department at the medical university.

имеется в виду, что поступил на бюджет?

I received a full government scholarship for medical school
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Juliemiracle
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#6

Сообщение Juliemiracle »

Vasilisa,
is it something like a motivation letter?
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VictorB
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#7

Сообщение VictorB »

Vasilisa,
Vasilisa пишет: 25 июн 2019, 14:20 Great products Forever help me doing this!
Advertising the products of FLPI to get a free trip to Australia?:-)
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