Yet another CAE preparation thread

Подготовка и впечатления от сдачи экзамена. Помощь в разборе письменных работ. выбор и обсуждение необходимых материалов. Cambridge English (CPE, CAE, FCE ect.), IELTS, TOEFL и другие.

Модератор: mikka

BeerMug
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#1

Сообщение BeerMug »

Мне заранее стыдно, но я создал очередную ветку с подготовкой к САЕ. Буду сюда выкладывать свои письменные работы для строгой критики со стороны уважаемого сообщества. Все эссе буду прогонять через бесплатный grammarly, чтобы не утомлять ошибками в артиклях и запятых. Плюс, для самомотивации, буду иногда сообщать о пройденных за день\неделю материалах.

Экзамен (computer-based) буду, скорее всего, сдавать в сентябре. В принципе, моя цель - Grade A, но я не обижусь и на Grade B - всё равно через пару-тройку лет в планах CPE.

Да, чуть не забыл - с удовольствием скооперируюсь с кем-нибудь для тренировки говорения в формате экзамена и для взаимной мотивации. Если кто-то тоже готовится к CAE, пишите на [email protected]
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#2

Сообщение BeerMug »

Первое эссе (уже выкладывал в другой теме) и заметки ув. tourist

Задание:
Your class has watched a round-table discussion about what young people can learn from older generations. You have made the notes below:
- work
- relationships
- money
Write an essay discussing two of the areas in your notes, You should explain in which area young people could gain most from older generations, giving reasons in support of your answer.

Эссе:
Recently we have watched a heated debate in class about the role that older people play in the life of the younger generation and advice from them that can be important at the start of one’s independent life. Allow me to elaborate on two principal points from that discussion.

Firstly, it is work and all work-related issues. It would be immensely valuable to learn the importance of not only searching for one’s dream job but also of a good work ethic. While one can certainly argue that it is hard to skip this lesson in life, however, if a young man or woman learns it too late, many lucrative job opportunities can be lost. Having learned that lesson, numerous paths and career options can be made readily available at a very young age.

Secondly, a very important subject not yet taught in schools is budgeting and not abusing credit cards. Of course, it is difficult to disagree with the contention that sooner or later all people start living within their means, but mediocre credit history and too much debt can completely ruin one’s life for many years and at the most vulnerable period of a person’s life.

Albeit both of those reasons are integral to the future prosperity of all young adults, budgeting plays the most vital role in life. It is possible and not uncommon to change many jobs and, after living frugally for several years, seize the opportunity of a lifetime. Unfortunately, it is much more difficult to get out of debt.

Заметки tourist из той же ветки
tourist пишет: 29 мар 2019, 22:03 some quick suggestions:

- people play in the lives of..

- about advice ? .. rephrase the second part of the sentence

- principal points -> major/key/main points

- it is [about] work and all the work-related issues
- immensely ..too strong, better: highly or just very

- It would be very valuable to learn the importance of not only searching for one’s dream job but also of a good work ethic.that having a strong work ethic is an important part of being successful in your carrier.

- the lesson won't make options readily available, but it might make it easier to find that dream job. (rephrase)

- is budgeting and not abusing credit cardsa proper/cautious attitude towards borrowing/credit/debt.

- integral -> essential

- Unfortunately, it is much more difficult to get out of debt ... than what ?

OFF topic:
sooner or later all people start living within their means
Not a chance, for the huge majority of people it's never gonna happen.))
It's called need for instant gratification, you can't stop that for most people.
Заметки
Последний раз редактировалось BeerMug 04 апр 2019, 22:30, всего редактировалось 1 раз.
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#3

Сообщение BeerMug »

Второе эссе:

Задание:
Your class has listened to a radio discussion about how to help people live healthier lives. You have made the notes below:
Measures to help people to live healthier lives
* education
* legislation
* facilities
Write an essay discussing two of the areas in your notes, You should explain which measure is most likely to be effective, giving reasons in support of your answer.

Today it is common knowledge that people need to live their lives in a healthy way. Unfortunately, not everyone does it, and finding a way to push people toward such lifestyle constitutes a very important issue of the modern world.

First of all, one way of persuading people to live healthily is to provide them with detailed and up-to-date information. A lot of problems in people’s life stem from the inability to consult with a health professional, be it a nutritionist, fitness trainer or a physician. By distributing proven facts and guidelines that are confirmed by the expert community, our society may put an end to a lot of myths about dieting, sports, and health in general. While some opponents of such initiative may argue that people might ignore such advice, without this information people will not have the slightest chance to change their lives for the better.

Another measure which can be implemented to help people live healthy lives is building, funding and promoting healthy lifestyle facilities, for example, local gyms, stadiums, swimming pools, basketball courts, etc. Even though critics may argue that such projects are expensive and not always successful, these facilities provide members of our society with a place to spend their time together, play sports and improve their health.

To sum up, there is a lot that we can do, but in my opinion, concentrating on facilities is more important than anything else. A lot of information can be found online and gathered from books, magazines, and TV shows, but sports facilities cannot be substituted by anything, thus making them one of the most effective way to improve the health of our society.

Word count – 277
Time spent – 35 min
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#4

Сообщение tourist »

Today it is common knowledge that people need to live their lives in a healthy way

Thank you mate for not using those ridiculous: Nowadays and In this day and age

-live their lives in a healthy way -> better: live healthy.

-finding a way to push people toward such lifestyle constitutes a very important issue of the modern world.
--> encouraging people to practice a healthy lifestyle is one of the major challenges of the modern world.

- live healthily is grammatically correct,
but these days live healthy is widespread and (to me) sounds more natural

-A lot of problems in people’s life stem from the inability to consult with a health professional, be it a nutritionist, fitness trainer or a physician ->
Getting professional advice from nutritionists, dieticians ..would solve many health related issues.

distributing proven facts -> creating awareness about scientifically proven facts

confirmed by the expert community -> approved/endorsed/supported by experts

argue that people might ignore such advice -> possible but I'd say would ignore

will not have the slightest chance -> won't stand a chance or just: will be (much) more difficult

sports facilities cannot be substituted by anything -> it's hard/difficult to find a substitution for..

you write:
To sum up, blah blah ... facilities...
Those facilities haven't been mentioned in the main body of your essay at all.
If you want them to be a part of your conclusion,you should say something about them earlier in the essay.)

Did it take you only 35 minutes ?
Not bad at all )
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#5

Сообщение BeerMug »

tourist, cheers for the feedback :)
tourist пишет: 04 апр 2019, 23:40 Thank you mate for not using those ridiculous: Nowadays and In this day and age
IIRC, I took it from some essay for ЕГЭ. Linking phrases always make me nervous: what is considered OK? what is considered purple prose? what is considered interference from Russian? So I try to use phrases from V. Evans' Successful Writing for Proficiency. And yet I'm still nervous because they don't look advanced enough. BTW, you got me thinking - I really should compile a list of such phrases from different books.
tourist пишет: 04 апр 2019, 23:40 you write:
To sum up, blah blah ... facilities...
Those facilities haven't been mentioned in the main body of your essay at all.
If you want them to be a part of your conclusion,you should say something about them earlier in the essay.)
But what about my mentioning of those facilities in the first sentence of the third paragraph? Is it enough? I really want to avoid using the same word many times.
tourist пишет: 04 апр 2019, 23:40 Did it take you only 35 minutes ?
Not bad at all )
Thanks! I try to finish all my practice tasks reasonably quickly because I'll probably be much slower during the exam.
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#6

Сообщение tourist »

BeerMug,
I really should compile a list of such phrases
sounds like a good idea.
I'm against nowadays etc. .. not because they are used wrongly, they are clearly not,
but because they are overused and have become ugly cliches.
These phrases don't convey sophistication, they convey laziness and/or conformism.

Sorry,missed you mentioning facilities somehow.

btw,
cheers for the feedback
I've never heard cheers in this context, so I'm learning too. )
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#7

Сообщение BeerMug »

tourist, Yeah, maybe that phrase is overused. Anyway, if I manage to compile that list of "smart words", I'll definitely share it here.

I've heard "cheers" in many instances of showing gratitude/appreciation in BrE.

https://dictionary.cambridge.org/ru/%D1 ... %B9/cheers
https://public.oed.com/appeals/cheers/
https://youglish.com/search/cheers%20mate - haven't watched all those clips, but in the first couple "cheers" is used either as a "thank you" or as a "bye".

Also, check this video out (one my all-time favourites and not due to "cheers" heard around 1:20)
Well, maybe this one is needed to give the previous video some context.
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#8

Сообщение tourist »

BeerMug,
I'm not disagreeing with you.
I hear cheers meaning bye all the time, and say it myself occasionally.
Though it's usually used as an encouragement even while drinking.
I don't really remember hearing cheers for .. whatever meaning thank you.
Now I know, cheers for that )
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#9

Сообщение Juliemiracle »

tourist,
could I ask a sort of nosy question? I somehow assumed you live in an English-speaking country. It isn't the UK, is it? Because if it is, it's got me worried. In our Upper Intermediate book at uni, when we focus on different registers, this "cheers = thank you" is given as an example of informal, BrE. If you don't come across it IRL, does it mean that the book has irrelevant lexis or the info in it isn't quite right/up-to-date? Please, put me out of my misery if you can :)
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#10

Сообщение tourist »

Juliemiracle,
well, you got me )
Now I have to come out of the closet, so to speak (using whatsisname in Boots terminology)
and admit that I do,indeed, live in the UK.
On the matter:
I wouldn't go so far as to claim that your textbook is wrong.
The thing is, as I've explained to BeerMug,using cheers for .. as thank you sounds a bit strange to me.
Actually,thinking about this now..
on London buses,when people get off at their stops they often shout: "Thank you, driver!"
sometimes they do say: "Cheers,driver !"
Anyway,keep your books,it looks like I was wrong...
I guess it was the formula:[cheers + for smth ] that got me confused.
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#11

Сообщение Juliemiracle »

tourist,
thanks a million!!!
BTW, this "for" got me confused too because in our book it's only "Cheers!" Now, after reading your post, I'm pretty sure you can only use it as a single word in this particular meaning.
Cheers! (and this is not 'bye-bye' :)
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#12

Сообщение BeerMug »

Так, теперь мой первый Proposal. Особое внимание уважаемых критиков прошу обратить на структуру Proposal именно для САЕ, так как эта штука для меня новая и хочется до конца понять что от меня хотят. Также, в конце пришлось очень много вырезать (в районе 50 слов). Сохранилась ли целостность текста после таких ножниц? Стоило ли в рассказе про каждый журнал писать негатив про цену?

Задание:
The college where you study has funds available for an online subscription to newspapers and magazines. You decide to write a proposal to the College Principal recommending two publications the college should subscribe to. Your proposal should describe each publication, saying why a subscription would benefit students at the college. Your proposal should also explain which of the publications is the most useful, assuming there isn't enough money for both.

In this proposal, I aim to persuade the College Principal that our college needs to have a subscription for two online magazines.

The Journal of Modern History
This journal is highly valued by all experts in the field of modern history. Not only does it provide well-researched articles about our recent history, but it also has a vast online archive with a supremely designed search engine. While the former can be used by any student of our college, the latter would be especially useful to the students that need the articles from the past century.

Of course, one can argue that the yearly cost of this journal is quite high for only six issues per year, but the quality is truly unparalleled due to its rigorous peer review.

Stories from the Past
This magazine provides accounts from the participants of the important events of the past seventy years. In this publication, one can find all kinds of interviews, memoirs, autobiographies, and reviews of relevant books.

Though the importance of such sources to our students and faculty is obvious, the yearly subscription of this magazine is even more costly than of the previous one.

Conclusion
It is safe to say that both of these publications will greatly improve the ability of our students to research and write papers on the history of modern times. Still, if our college has funding for only one of the aforementioned publications, I urge the College Principal to choose The Journal of Modern History as the quality of its articles is truly unique.

Word Count - 257
Grammarly - 3 ошибки в запятых
Time - 40 min.
Образец эссе из книжки с заданиями: Изображение
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#13

Сообщение tourist »

BeerMug,
if all you're interested in is format/structure, please ignore my post,
otherwise brace yourself )

- valued by all experts -> valued by (most) experts (by all is unlikely)
- provide -> publish
- has a vast .. -> includes a vast
- supremely -> well designed search engine supremely is an overkill in this context
- from the past century ? ...not necessarily
- yearly cost of this journal -> cost of yearly subscription
- the [magazine's] quality ... due to its rigorous peer review (process)
btw, it's a quarterly publication,so only 4 issues per year (?)
- subscription of to this magazine
- improve the ability of our students -> improve our student's ability
- aforementioned -> I'd rephrase the sentence to avoid legalese
- quality of its articles is truly unique unmatched

PS if my comments annoy you, I'll stop, just tell me )
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#14

Сообщение BeerMug »

tourist, Thanks for your corrections. And how can your comments annoy me? I came to this forum in search of constructive criticism and you provide plenty of it. So, thank you once again for spending your time and energy!
tourist пишет: 08 апр 2019, 23:31 - aforementioned -> I'd rephrase the sentence to avoid legalese
Damn, I rephrased that sentence precisely to include this piece of legalese :( I'm kinda fearful of the "Language Range" assessment subscale, so I try to use less common vocabulary where possible.
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#15

Сообщение tourist »

BeerMug пишет: 09 апр 2019, 06:31 I try to use less common vocabulary where possible.
I'm not familiar with the exam requirements.
I simply rely on common sense and prefer naturally sounding sentences.
Some tests do not always share my attitude )
So there!

Seriously,is aforementioned on your recommended usage list ?
Are there such lists available?
I'm talking about the materials you use for exam preparation.
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#16

Сообщение BeerMug »

tourist пишет: 09 апр 2019, 10:32 I simply rely on common sense and prefer naturally sounding sentences.
That's wonderful - what's the point of piling a lot of "approved" vocabulary on top of poorly constructed phrases if sentences and paragraphs make little sense?
tourist пишет: 09 апр 2019, 10:32 Seriously,is aforementioned on your recommended usage list ?
Are there such lists available?
I'm talking about the materials you use for exam preparation.
Hmmm, I've got to check it online, because there are a lot of such lists, but I've been under the impression that at C1\C2 level no vocabulary is off limits (if used correctly). I'll look it up, but not in the nearest future.
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#17

Сообщение BeerMug »

Давно не писал, но продолжаю готовиться. За последнюю неделю:

* Прорешал несколько компиляций по Use of English из старых Past Papers (специально составил мини-сборники так, чтобы не решать ненужные задания). Все косяки внёс в Квизлет.
* Сделал ещё один Past Paper нового образца.
* Внимательно прочитал CAE Assessing Writing Performance и CAE Handbook for Teachers (в части Writing), скомпилировал из них все проверенные письменные работы, добавил к ним такие же письменные работы из Past Papers и Flo-Joe.
* Проверил несколько "уже проверенных" письменных работ из указанных источников, чтобы лучше понять требования и развить свой внутренний "компас".

Следующие несколько дней уделю именно более близкому изучению критериев письма и проверенных образцов. К концу недели напишу ещё минимум один Proposal. А вообще, постараюсь написать побольше, потому что именно письмо как-то незаслуженно забросил.
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#18

Сообщение BeerMug »

Второй Proposal. Снова прошу обратить внимание на структуру для CAE - отсутствие критики в этой области очень напрягает. Всё ли правильно я делаю?

Задание: You attend a college that has many international students. You feel that the college website does not do enough to support new international students. You decide to write a proposal to the College Principal, explaining how the college website could be improved to help these students.
In your proposal, outline what extra information or advice you would include on the website, and explain how this might help international students make the most of their time at the college.

Suggestions to improve the website of our college
In this proposal, I aim to offer two important improvements to our college website which will undoubtedly help international students of our college.

A map of the college campus and local facilities
At this moment, our college website lacks a detailed map of our campus and nearby points of interest such as cafes, libraries, government facilities and so on. The student community of our college has resorted to making the map themselves, but the results of this grass-roots initiative are far from satisfactory. When our college site has such map online, new students will be able to get around the campus more efficiently, which will definitely give them more free time to devote to their studies and social activities.

Legal advice and contacts of the college legal department
This is by far the most unintuitive part of our website. Not only does it have a very cumbersome interface which is almost impossible to navigate, but it also provides no relevant contacts whatsoever. Unsurprisingly, many new international students do not even know we have a legal department and turn to the Internet for advice. As soon as the online presence of our legal department is established, our students will finally have the opportunity to receive advice from a reputed and responsible source. It will severely cut down on any legal issues that new students from abroad usually have and give them plenty of time for studies.

Final recommendation
In my opinion, while both suggestions are important, the issue of legal department online absence is more pressing as solving it can potentially save some students from legal troubles because of misinformation from irresponsible online sources and inability to find necessary information elsewhere.

Word count - 288
Time - 40 min
Grammarly - 1 mistake (grass-root->grass-roots)

Образец
Изображение

Мысли от сравнения образца и моего письма:
1. Не упомянул про необходимость информации на иностранных языках в обеих рекомендациях. М.б. недочет.
2. Мне нужно больше понтовых связующих слов и структур.
3. Ну и финальную часть, конечно же, стоило назвать Conclusion
4. Сложность языка, вроде бы, на уровне, но всё равно надо стараться усложнять.
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#19

Сообщение BeerMug »

Да, забыл напомнить - если кто-то из тех, кто готовится к САЕ хочет объединиться - пишите в личку или на [email protected]. Будем друг другу помогать, мотивировать, практиковаться в говорении по формату экзамена и т. д.
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#20

Сообщение tourist »

Here we go )

- website of our college -> our college's website
- undoubtedly ? Overconfident much ? ) -> in my opinion/likely or some such..
- map of the college campus -> campus map
- points of interest such as cafes, libraries, government facilities bars, pubs, nightclubs,crack dens .. government facilities ? Yeah,right )
- has resorted to -> compiled the map
- grass-roots initiative .. this is a highfalutin cliche,which doesn't do you any favour.
- When our college site has such map online -> Online campus map would help new students ..
- definitely ... again (see above)
- As soon as the online presence of our legal department is established.. you're talking like Obama used to )
-> providing online legal advice,including relevant contacts ..
- It will severely cut -> significantly/substantially
- the issue of legal department online absence is more pressing as solving it can potentially save some students from legal troubles because of misinformation from irresponsible online sources and inability to find necessary information elsewhere.
too long ... I would break it up and rephrase the entire section.

PS
You're going to present your mock proposal to Russian-speaking teachers/examiners.
They may (or may not) accept your overconfident in-your-face style of writing.
But for a native speaker using terms like undoubtedly/definitely/important improvement
in what is supposed to be a polite request
might sound a bit too arrogant and pushy.
Avoid it IRL.
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#21

Сообщение BeerMug »

tourist,
Thanks again for your time and effort and especially for being brutal and ruthless with your criticism! :)
tourist пишет: 18 апр 2019, 23:10Avoid it IRL.
Yeah, I will. If I were to write such proposal IRL, I'd definitely take a different approach and be less sophisticated and take fewer risks. But the "Language" subscale of CAE really scares me - I have to use less common words and complex grammar structures.
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#22

Сообщение Eager Beaver »

BeerMug, I've been reading a lot of exam-related stuff recently. And from what I gathered, you should not try to make your syntax and lexis too complex. Regardless of the level of complexity you aim at, your choices should still be appropriate for the task, format, or situation.
Watch this video from Cambridge Assessment, for example:
Note that they have awarded band 5 for Content and Language for sample answer #2 (band 3 is what is typically expected at C2 level). If you read the response carefully, you'll see that there are no "less common" words or "excessively complex" grammar structures. If you opt for whatever works best rather than the most advanced grammatical structures in your textbook, you'll have better chances of getting a higher grade.
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#23

Сообщение BeerMug »

Eager Beaver, thanks for the video, I'll definitely watch it over the weekend.
BeerMug
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#24

Сообщение BeerMug »

I still haven't watched the Youtube video provided by Eager Beaver, so the essay below may be still overcomplicated.

Задание: Your class has watched a television programme on the reasons why many young people choose to live in cities. You have made the notes below:
Factors which influence why many young people prefer to live in cities:
* work
* education
* culture

It is hard to dispute the fact that young people more and more often choose to live in cities. While there are many reasons for that, I would like to write about those two that I consider the most important, namely, city culture and numerous opportunities for work.

The latter reason is certainly the biggest driving factor for this trend. It is very difficult for rural areas to compete with a plethora of career options, high salary and, last but not least, a positive work environment in the city. This positivity attracts more optimistic and active people who, in turn, affect their surroundings in a good way. Opponents of city life may certainly say that there is a growing number of companies that offer to work from home via the Internet, but this kind of jobs is still in its infancy and will only provide a modest number of workplaces in the foreseeable future.

The second important reason is city culture. Not being limited only to social interactions within the city environment, city culture is also responsible for the improved standard of living and a well-developed network of urban facilities of high quality such as hospitals, gyms, theatres, etc. It is difficult to find alternatives of similar quality in the country, so young people predictably move to cities in search of a better culture.

To sum it up, the most important factor of the two is work, which not only gives more opportunities for career advancements but also provides a higher salary. These earnings can be an important part of saving for retirement as well as other unforeseen expenses in life of young people.

Time - 43 minutes
Word count - 274
Grammarly - 3 mistakes with articles

Graded essay:
Изображение

Мысли после сравнения:
1. Уря, я привел сравнение в конце.
2. Нужно больше разнообразия в логических связках.
3. Нужно больше коллокаций для банальных тем.

В общем, в следующие несколько дней займусь составлением мини-словаря, применимого для самых общих тем (молодежь, жЫзнь, работа, аргументы, связки и т.д.)
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#25

Сообщение tourist »

Hi there,

- I would like to write about those ...
here is your chance to use those elusive "less common words" )
to focus on/to address (the issue)
- opportunity for work -> work opportunities ... hair splitting ? I know,I know,still... )

- The latter reason is
two things here:

1. even though your wording is acceptable,
the main purpose of using latter vs. former structure is to avoid repetition.
e.g., We've got two factors: A and B at play,
the former is in favour of option X but the latter is supporting option Y
there's no need to repeat "factor"

2. It's the opportunities to find work (the latter) that is a driving factor,not the reason itself.
I mean reason doesn't drive anything, opportunity does.

- high salary -> potentially higher earnings
- last but not least... hmm.. I think it's OK here,
but it's used more often when talking about people.
- positive work environment ...
can't we have a positive work environment (whatever that means.. pleasant perhaps ?) in a village?
- affect their surroundings in a good way -> contribute to community/improve...or similar
- offer to work from home -> allow working-from-home arrangement/incentive
- in the country -> in rural areas
- move to cities in search of a better culture-> in search of a more culturally rich/ fulfilling/satisfying (way of) life
hate the term in search of a better life, often used when talking about illegal immigrants

- higher salary... again,it doesn't have to be salary,
it could be wages (hourly or weekly as opposed to a salary,paid monthly), commissions, etc.
- retirement as well as other unforeseen expenses
retirement is not unforeseen,it's very predictable, believe it or not ))

In general,this essay is your best .. so far.
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