CAE Writing

Подготовка и впечатления от сдачи экзамена. Помощь в разборе письменных работ. выбор и обсуждение необходимых материалов. Cambridge English (CPE, CAE, FCE ect.), IELTS, TOEFL и другие.

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Mary May
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#76

Сообщение Mary May »

IrinaS пишет: 25 мар 2019, 15:19 tourist, всё равно не понимаю (
tourist пишет: 25 мар 2019, 00:35 fall out with each other
но это не значит, что я спорю). Если есть очевидная ошибка - указать и пояснить (если нет времени/желания, значит нет). Мне сложно представить, что проверяющие экзаменационных работ выставляют баллы по критериям нравится /не нравится.
If I get alanta and tourist right, it's not abt obvious mistakes: if it were, it would be easier to deal with them - just follow the rules.
It's more about these subtle/unnamed inaccuracies which do have a cumulative effect to affect someone's exam score (?)

Oh, I'm sure my comment is a true example of them - and, perhaps, not that subtle ))
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#77

Сообщение alanta »

IrinaS пишет: 25 мар 2019, 15:19 Мне сложно представить, что проверяющие экзаменационных работ выставляют баллы по критериям нравится /не нравится.
Мои "нравится/не нравится" прекрасно отразил tourist в своем посте #69. Я сама обычно если и указываю на ошибки, то точечно, как артикли, например, потому что для меня более характерно сомневаться в себе, чем видеть ошибки других. Я добавила то предложение, потому что многие предложения или фразы, как например "on some teenagers’ birthday parties", звучали для меня неестественно, но я не была уверена, что я права. Но я, конечно, и предположить не могла, что то предложение вызовет такую острую реакцию. Да и вообще как-то была в не курсе, что любой пост в этой теме должен соответствовать какому-то формату, отхожение от которого недопустимо.
В общем, как говориться, I learn from my mistakes и больше не побеспокою.
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#78

Сообщение Juliemiracle »

tourist пишет: 24 мар 2019, 23:38 - Dear Mr Smith ... make sure he is still a mister and not a madam
you never now these days .. just kidding )
You could always write Dear Mx Smith :)
Although I'm not sure the manager of a local business is open-minded enough for for such a title. It may drastically diminish your chances of getting hired :)
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#79

Сообщение tourist »

It may drastically diminish your chances of getting hired :)
or you'll get hired immediately if you guess it right )

Do you feel lucky, punk ? (c)

PS
just noticed: know
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#80

Сообщение Juliemiracle »

tourist,
in my experience, the more local the business is, the more conventional the managers are. Yet, I may have quite stereotypical ideas as well.
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#81

Сообщение tourist »

Juliemiracle пишет: 25 мар 2019, 22:20 tourist,
in my experience, the more local the business is, the more conventional the managers are. Yet, I may have quite stereotypical ideas as well.
sure,unless the business is interior decoration or fashion designing, then all bets are off )
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#82

Сообщение Juliemiracle »

tourist пишет: 25 мар 2019, 22:11 Do you feel lucky, punk ? (c)
Dirty Harry would definitely not top my list of "Examples of Tolerant People" :)
tourist пишет: 25 мар 2019, 22:26 sure,unless the business is interior decoration or fashion designing, then all bets are off )
Yeah-yeah, I clearly remember how tolerant the guys from "Kinky Boots" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinky_Boots_(film) (fashion industry, mind you!) were to the newcomers :)
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#83

Сообщение tourist »

speaking of Boots
our own Nigger in Boots would make a great "fashion designer " )
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#84

Сообщение Yety »

IrinaS пишет: 24 мар 2019, 22:26 I am writing to you to ...
Натолкнулся на несколько неожиданный комментарий от специалиста:
The one phrase you should (almost) never use to start an email
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#85

Сообщение Juliemiracle »

Yety,
I guess that just goes to show how many different Englishes there are out there. At some international exam, e.g. the FCE, this phrase demonstrates your awareness of formal cliches, so it's a plus. This company's cornerstone of email writing is the aforementioned KISS principle, so the use of this phrase will probably be frowned upon. It doesn't mean, however, that some other organisation will see eye to eye with them. That's why they always say in Business English, "Get to know the standards of the company you work for. Read their regulations, emails etc attentively & notice what and how is written."
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#86

Сообщение BeerMug »

Всем доброго времени суток. Прошу уважаемых участников форума раскритиковать эссе для САЕ (т.е. Writing Part 1).

Задание:
Your class has watched a round-table discussion about what young people can learn from older generations. You have made the notes below:
- work
- relationships
- money
Write an essay discussing two of the areas in your notes, You should explain in which area young people could gain most from older generations, giving reasons in support of your answer.

Эссе:
Recently we have watched a heated debate in class about the role that older people play in the life of the younger generation and advice from them that can be important at the start of one’s independent life. Allow me to elaborate on two principal points from that discussion.

Firstly, it is work and all work-related issues. It would be immensely valuable to learn the importance of not only searching for one’s dream job but also of a good work ethic. While one can certainly argue that it is hard to skip this lesson in life, however, if a young man or woman learns it too late, many lucrative job opportunities can be lost. Having learned that lesson, numerous paths and career options can be made readily available at a very young age.

Secondly, a very important subject not yet taught in schools is budgeting and not abusing credit cards. Of course, it is difficult to disagree with the contention that sooner or later all people start living within their means, but mediocre credit history and too much debt can completely ruin one’s life for many years and at the most vulnerable period of a person’s life.

Albeit both of those reasons are integral to the future prosperity of all young adults, budgeting plays the most vital role in life. It is possible and not uncommon to change many jobs and, after living frugally for several years, seize the opportunity of a lifetime. Unfortunately, it is much more difficult to get out of debt.

P.S. Дальнейшие свои эссе лучше кидать сюда или создать свою тему?
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#87

Сообщение tourist »

some quick suggestions:

- people play in the lives of..

- about advice ? .. rephrase the second part of the sentence

- principal points -> major/key/main points

- it is [about] work and all the work-related issues
- immensely ..too strong, better: highly or just very

- It would be very valuable to learn the importance of not only searching for one’s dream job but also of a good work ethic.that having a strong work ethic is an important part of being successful in your carrier.

- the lesson won't make options readily available, but it might make it easier to find that dream job. (rephrase)

- is budgeting and not abusing credit cardsa proper/cautious attitude towards borrowing/credit/debt.

- integral -> essential

- Unfortunately, it is much more difficult to get out of debt ... than what ?

OFF topic:
sooner or later all people start living within their means
Not a chance, for the huge majority of people it's never gonna happen.))
It's called need for instant gratification, you can't stop that for most people.
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#88

Сообщение BeerMug »

tourist, thanks for the corrections and your time!
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#89

Сообщение tourist »

BeerMug, any time,mate )
PS
carrier => career, bloody auto correction (
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#90

Сообщение Jolly Roger »

Буду признательна, если кто-то сделает небольшое ревью на мою писанину. Подумываю летом сдавать CAE.
Неказистый из меня писатель получается. I HATE WRITING!!!

Уверена, что во временные рамки я вложусь, но я вообще не понимаю, насколько мой текст сгодится в контексте coherence, register, vocabulary and grammar appropriacy.

Задание (нашла в интернете)
In class you have had a discussion about inequality and work. You have made the notes below:

Do the privileged few get a head start in life?

Stability in the home
Work contacts and opportunities
Time to hone one´s skills
Write an essay discussing two of the points given and explain the reasons behind your answer.
Сама работа (266 слов)
Last week at our language school we had a rather heated discussion about the privileged youth whose families’ fortune allows them to have a head start in their lives. Needless to say, the class was unanimous in agreeing that having wealth to back you up is a key factor that can take you atop the social ladder in a blink of an eye. So, what benefits do those kids have that other people must work hard for?

First of all, wealthy parents invest money in their children’s education from an early age – they can afford numerous tutors and enroll their offspings in afterschool clubs to their taste. They can purchase all the necessary equipment for sport classes, musical instruments for a music school, etc. whereas lots of talented young children do not have sufficient funds which would help them to hone their skills and talents.

Secondly, the privileged youth has yet another great advantage up their sleeves – they move in high circles which allows them to expand their network and have more opportunities to build up their careers. How many people have connections amongst bankers, investors, successful businessmen, and politicians from the very beginning of their adult life? Too few, and those who do, can often rest assured that there’s a high-payed position in a large company waiting for them upon graduating college.

In conclusion, I must say that even though the general tone of the last week’s speakers was somewhat contemptuous towards the privileged ones, most of us agreed that they themselves would do their best to give their children a jump start in live.
Easy-Breezy English
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#91

Сообщение Easy-Breezy English »

Jolly Roger, по-моему, очень хорошо получилось, даже прекрасно. Четко, по теме, мысль ясна, словарь разнообразный, грубых ошибок нет. И вообще, ошибок минимум. Если только совсем придираться...

Бросились в глаза запятые:

Secondly, the privileged youth has have yet another great advantage up their sleeves – they move in high circles, (comma) which allows them to expand their network and have more opportunities to build up their careers.
A non-defining relative clause.

They can purchase all the necessary equipment for sport classes sport(s) equipment, musical instruments for a music school, and other gear etc., (comma) whereas lots of talented young children do not have sufficient funds which would help them to hone enough money to develop their skills and talents.
A comma before a subordinating conjunction (whereas) expressing contrast.
Лучше не использовать так любимое нами etc. - too vague.

Too few, and those who do (no comma needed) can often rest assured that there’s a high-payed paying position in a large company waiting for them upon graduating college.

Несколько помарок, которые вы бы и сами наверняка увидели, если бы перечитали.
the privileged youth has have yet another great advantage
(иначе молодежь превращается в молодость)

most of us agreed that they themselves we ourselves would do their our best to give our their children a jump start in live. life

offspRings

First of all, wealthy parents invest money in their children’s education from an early age – they can afford to hire numerous tutors and enroll their offsprings in afterschool clubs to their taste.
(Mind your parallel structures. They can afford to hire and to enroll, not tutors and to enroll. Или лучше повторить they:
they can afford numerous tutors, and they also enroll their offspring...
)

discussion about the privileged youth whose families’ fortune allows them to have a head start in their lives. head start in life.

Некоторые идиомы странновато смотрятся, но, как я поняла, это издержки формата - надлежит показать знание идиом.
Ну и я бы все-таки jump start не использовала, но это уже совсем придирки.
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#92

Сообщение Jolly Roger »

Easy-Breezy English, thanks a lot for such a detailed analysis! Much appreciated!

I know that punctuation is my weak point - never cared enough about all those commas, colons, semicolons etc. (I hope you wouldn't mind if I slip a little "etc.'' in here :))
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#93

Сообщение Easy-Breezy English »

Jolly Roger пишет: 14 май 2019, 00:01 I know that punctuation is my weak point
В английском в чести авторская пунктуация, так что все можно валить на нее. Но есть несколько очень простых правил, которым лучше следовать.

1. Запятая ставится, если вы объединяете два независимых предложения при помощи союзов for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so (FANBOYS).

You are rich, so I love you.
You are rich, and I love you.


2. Если у вас есть главное и придаточное предложение, то

- запятая ставится, если сначала придаточное, потом главное:
When you buy me a Mercedes, I'll marry you.
Since you are such a loser, I'm not going to marry you.


- запятая не ставится, если сначала главное, потом придаточное:
I'll marry you when you buy me a Mercedes.
I'm not going to marry you because you are such a loser.


3. Если объединяете два предложения без союза, ставится точка с запятой:
To have a decent wedding you need to spend at least a hundred grand; no one will take you seriously if it's anything less than that.

4. Если у вас придаточное предложение, начинающиеся со слова "который", то

- оно в запятых, если его можно выбросить без потери смысла:
John, who was wearing a red shirt, looked happy. (John looked happy.)

- если выкинуть нельзя, то без запятых:
There were three men in the room. The man who was wearing a red shirt looked happy.
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#94

Сообщение tourist »

Easy-Breezy English,
thanks )
a couple of things,though

-два независимых предложения
couldn't you just simply say: coordinated conjunctions between two independent clauses ?
Are you still unaware of the rules of this board ?
Why explain with a single sentence when four paragraphs of links, videos, quotes would do just fine ?

-You are rich, so I love you
I'll marry you when you buy me a Mercedes
these clauses may be independent in the grammatical sense
but
in reality it's a different matter .. confused ..
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#95

Сообщение Easy-Breezy English »

tourist пишет: 14 май 2019, 14:38 couldn't you just simply say: coordinated conjunctions between two independent clauses ?
Are you being funny? I simplify when I can simplify. :-)
tourist пишет: 14 май 2019, 14:38 -You are rich, so I love you
I'll marry you when you buy me a Mercedes
these clauses may be independent in the grammatical sense
but
in reality it's a different matter .. confused ..
Few people ever notice that for and so actually express causation. Of course you would be one of them. :-)

Anyway, let's look at this sentence:
I'll marry you when you buy me a Mercedes.

It is a complex (сложноподчиненное) sentence containing one independent (main) clause and one dependent clause. We can switch them around:
When you buy me a Mercedes, I'll marry you.

But the dependent clause can't stand on its own.
When you buy me a Mercedes.

So, for complex sentences the rule is: if the independent clause comes first, no comma is needed. Otherwise, insert a comma.

Now, these sentences are compound (сложносочиненные):
You are rich, and I love you.
You are not rich, but I love you.
You are not rich, yet I love you.
You are not rich, nor are you good-looking.
Buy my a Mercedes, or I'll leave you.


They each have two independent clauses connected by a conjunction. The clauses can stand on their own without being considered a fragment:

You are rich. And I love you.
You are not rich. But I love you.


Compare:
I love you. Because you are rich.

Also, in compound sentences we can't switch the clauses. There should always be a conjunction stuck in the middle.

And I love you, you are rich.
But I love you, you are rich.
Yet I love you, you are not rich.


You are absolutely right to notice, though, that so actually expresses dependency inasmuch as it expresses causation. So does for. So, not all coordinating conjunctions are created equal. However, so and for still conform to the rules governing other coordinating conjunctions:

You are rich, so I love you.
You are rich. So I love you.
So I love you, you are rich.

Honestly, I never explain this mumbo-jumbo because it's just so much easier to just memorize FANBOYS. See one of those? Stick a comma there. End of story.
Последний раз редактировалось Easy-Breezy English 14 май 2019, 15:33, всего редактировалось 3 раза.
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#96

Сообщение tourist »

Easy-Breezy English,
you see what a lack of [/sarcasm] tag could do )

now,
your entire post ( #95) is a huge improvement.
You are getting there (following THE rules)
but you still have a loooong way to go )
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#97

Сообщение Easy-Breezy English »

tourist пишет: 14 май 2019, 15:27 but you still have a loooong way to go )
Ha! You have no idea just how FAR I can go. ))))))))
You asked for it though. :-) You just weren't happy with my FANBOYS.
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#98

Сообщение olga gorobets »

Здравствуйте! Готовлюсь к CAE. Впервые написала proposal. Буду очень признательна за ваше мнение.

Задание: Students at your college have to give a spoken presentation as a part of their final assessment and need some help. The school director has invited you to send a proposal outlining any problems students have with presentations and suggesting how these problems could be overcome.

Мой текст:
Final assessment spoken presentation: a proposal

Introduction
The principal aim of this report is to bring up the subject of students' oral presentations, causes of obstacles intefering learners' succesful preparation and finally provide proposal of effective tools to bring about a change.

Current situation
Senior strudents have responded to an online questionnaire. The research has shown that the majority of respondents find their preparation of speeches a bit of a slog. But at the same time almost none of them expressed serious concerns about their poor chances to perform successfully.


Key problems students have with presentations

According to the results of online questionnaire a significant proportion of respondents confessed that they weren't competent enough to make visual aids for their presentations. Less people cited that they hadn't understood the topic they had recieved completly. As for the last group of respondents, it should be noted that it is miniscule. But under no circumstances should problems of these students be ignored. They admitted feeling unease during delivering a speech publicly.


Recommendations

In the light of the results of the questionnaire I am absolutely convinced in the urgency and seriousness of the problems stated above. I would therefore break new ground for the following measures:

* divide students into groups according to the topics of their speeches and assign each group with a tutor or couch who will provide candidates with clear instructions and deal with any arising problems.

*organise a workshop on how to use soft and hard ware to create the presentations required

* sign some students up for the theatre club in our school to help them overcome their fear of public performance and develop eloquence.
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#99

Сообщение Zlatko_Berrin »

I'm not advanced yet, but here we go:
olga gorobets пишет: 29 май 2019, 23:07 this report
So is this a report or proposal?
olga gorobets пишет: 29 май 2019, 23:07 that the majority of respondents
...of the respondents...
olga gorobets пишет: 29 май 2019, 23:07 their preparation of speeches
...preparation for speeches
olga gorobets пишет: 29 май 2019, 23:07 According to the results of online questionnaire
...the results of the online questionnaire,
olga gorobets пишет: 29 май 2019, 23:07 they had recieved completly
... received completely...
olga gorobets пишет: 29 май 2019, 23:07 ...they hadn't understood the topic they had recieved completly
...they hadn't understood the topic, they had received, completely...
olga gorobets пишет: 29 май 2019, 23:07 As for the last group of respondents, it should be noted that it is miniscule. But under no circumstances should problems of these students be ignored.
...of the respondents,.. minuscule...
I would have made one sentence instead of those two. Something like
As for the last group of the respondents, their incomplete understanding (if you mean this by "that they hadn't understood the topic they had received completely.") is minuscule, but under no...
I also have doubts about if the word 'minuscule' fits well in the context of describing "that they hadn't understood the topic they had received completely'.
olga gorobets пишет: 29 май 2019, 23:07 ...assign each group with a tutor or couch
...assign each group with a tutor...
olga gorobets пишет: 29 май 2019, 23:07 use soft and hard ware to create
use soft- and hardware

Maybe, there is something else, and some sentences seem a bit "not-that-right" ("I am absolutely convinced in the urgency..." The preposition might be wrong, I suppose), but it's due to my inexperience.
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#100

Сообщение Zlatko_Berrin »

olga gorobets пишет: 29 май 2019, 23:07 their preparation of speeches
Zlatko_Berrin пишет: 29 май 2019, 23:42 ...preparation for speeches
Now I'm thinking... you meant "подготовка к речам (like performances themselves)" or "подготовка речей (e. g. texts of these speeches)"?

P. S. Sorry I haven't greeted you. Welcome to the forum))
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