CPE Writing

Подготовка и впечатления от сдачи экзамена. Помощь в разборе письменных работ. выбор и обсуждение необходимых материалов. Cambridge English (CPE, CAE, FCE ect.), IELTS, TOEFL и другие.

Модератор: mikka

paveltashkinov
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#451

Сообщение paveltashkinov »

Easy-Breezy English,
I did so when I was typing it in a Word file. Should have double-checked it when copying it on the forum, though.
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#452

Сообщение paveltashkinov »

Last summer you and some of your classmates attended a month’s English language course organised by a college in your local area. Your teacher has emailed you about this.
Read the email from your teacher. Then, write a report for your teacher, commenting on the course and explaining whether you would recommend it for other students.
Subject: Summer English Course
We want to decide whether to send more groups of students on this course. Please can you write a report discussing the strengths and weaknesses of the course and explaining whether you would recommend it or not.

Report on the Summer English Course

Introduction
The report below aims to provide feedback on the Summer English course, highlight some features that have made it particularly useful, as well as furnish some recommendations on the parts of the course that could be improved.

The advantages of the course
The course has offered a vast array of miscellaneous activities to the students. These activities were tailored in a way that would encourage every student to participate in the lessons. Another good aspect of the course was that the students were arranged into groups according to their level of proficiency. This arrangement ensured that the efficiency of the course was maximized. Furthermore, the badge system used throughout the course seems to have spurred the students to compete against each other and strive hard to improve their performance.

The aspects of the course in need of improvement
Although the course was entertaining and useful, I believe that some of its aspects could have been better organised. First, the groups of students were too big. As a result, some of them may have had little opportunity to speak. Second, with its focus resting solely on the oral communication, the course seems to have been rather imbalanced. Had some activities focused on other areas of linguistic development, i.e. reading, writing and listening, been incorporated into the course, the students would have benefited more from it.

Conclusion
To recapitulate, the Summer English course accomplished the objectives its organizers had set out to achieve insofar as the spoken English is concerned. The course furnished its attendees with an excellent opportunity to elevate their spoken language to a higher level. I would recommend the course to other students who are keen on developing their speaking skills.
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#453

Сообщение paveltashkinov »

In class you have been discussing the importance of titles for books and films, considering how these must both reflect the contents of the story and also catch the interest of potential readers and viewers. Your teacher has now asked you to write an article for the college magazine discussing how effective and appropriate the title of Text X is.

Human, All Too Human by F.W. Nietzsche
It is said that judging book by its cover is, at least, a questionable practice. But if you come to think of it, that’s exactly what we resort to whenever we are in two minds about whether some book is worth reading.
F.W.Nietzsche’s way of thinking is often said to be circuitous and treacherous. However, this cannot be said the titles of his books, which, indeed, speak volumes. ‘The Will To Power’, ‘Beyond Good and Evil’, ‘Human, All Too Human’. It’s the latter working I would like to delve into some details about.
A book’s title should give you a small piece of that book itself to nibble on. It’s akin to a kind of degustation. You carefully roll each word in your mouth and your mind, asking yourself what the book may be like. An aptly chosen title may enthrall you in no time, and ‘Human, All Too Human’ seems to succeed at that. The book is as lively and full of witticisms as you think it is bound to be. As provocative and free thinker as he is, Nietzsche spurs your interest from the very first page and keeps you on tenterhooks till the end of the book. ‘Human, All Too Human’ is full of vivid descriptions of human vices and virtues.
Reading a book, indeed, is akin to a small journey. Before Nietzsche, philosophical writing was couched in effusive poetry or stilted academic style that the reader would have to muddle through. This path was dull and devoid of the man’s presence yet full of effusive poetry and stilted academic style. Nietzsche changed the game and breathed the man’s presence into this hitherto bleak world, and thereby ‘humanized’ philosophy. Defying any dogmas and conventions, Nietzsche acts like a witty guide showing you different aspects of human life while making you laugh at it all and entertaining you with his unique style. No matter how contestable his moral message may be, Nietzsche has every right to be regarded a master of the written word whose books will preserve their appeal to generations to come.
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#454

Сообщение paveltashkinov »

this cannot be said about the titles...
I must have been in a hurry
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#455

Сообщение paveltashkinov »

I seem to have forgotten to remove the repeating phrase.

Reading a book, indeed, is akin to a small journey. Before Nietzsche, philosophical writing was couched in effusive poetry or stilted academic style that the reader would have to muddle through. This path was dull and devoid of the man’s presence. Nietzsche changed the game and breathed the man’s presence into this hitherto bleak world, and thereby ‘humanized’ philosophy.
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#456

Сообщение paveltashkinov »

A current trend in the UK is to encourage school leavers and new graduates to become entrepreneurs and run their own businesses. In fact, an academy has been established to teach young people to become entrepreneurs. What factors have contributed to this trend? Discuss, giving examples.

Nowadays, more and more yesterday’s graduates opt for entrepreneurship rather than employment. What are the factors that this shift of attitude can be attributed to?
First, yesterday’s students seem to be finding it increasingly difficult to secure a job. Too often, prospective employees are reluctant to hire graduates, because they believe that their skills are insufficient. Unfortunately, their apprehension is not unfounded. Indeed, graduates often do not have some practical experience on-hand, and this circumstance greatly reduces their employability. Consequently, they have no alternative but to explore other options of obtaining income. As young people start to look elsewhere, some of them arrive at the idea of starting up their own venture.
It is, perhaps, difficult not to have come to this conclusion. Nowadays, mass media are teeming with stories of entrepreneurs making their way from rags to riches. The prestige associated with entrepreneurship is alluring, and it contributes to general public’s perception of self-employment. This is even more apparent when viewed against the backdrop of the contemporary job market. With a growing number of people being made redundant as both the commercial and public sectors struggle to survive in the recession, self-employment has come to be seen as an option worth exploring.
To conclude, it is clear that nowadays anyone entering the workforce for the first time has to tap into their imagination, creativity and drive in order to thrive and prosper. In a world where jobs are few and far between, imagination and perseverance are what counts towards success.
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#457

Сообщение paveltashkinov »

You have recently attended a training course and as part of the evaluation of it all participants have been asked to write a report giving their views:
Please give us your feedback to help us monitor the success of our training courses and to help us determine what changes we could make in the future.

We would appreciate your views on any aspect of the course which you liked or didn't like, including these points:
• suitability of training course objectives
• presenter's knowledge and presentation style
• recommendations to improve the course
Write the report for the training manager. (around 280 - 320 words)

Subject: Report on the NSEC

Introduction
The aim of this report is to provide feedback on the recently held NSEC and furnish some recommendations that, if taken note of, may make the NSEC more useful for the future trainees.

Training course objectives
The conference was held with the view of providing the attendees with an opportunity to learn the tools that are instrumental for their future success in the field. These tools include a good understanding of how the water treatment industry works, excellent technical expertise, customer relationship management, and negotiating skills.

Presenters’ knowledge and presentation style
The conference was facilitated by three area managers. With decades of experience on their hands, the managers did their best to ensure that the sessions were enlightening and entertaining. Not only did the managers conduct the lectures on the technical side of the business, but they also focused on the development of the communication skills of the attendees. To do so, they incorporated a series of workshops into the course. These workshops included miscellaneous activities vital for the survival in the field, i.e. pre-call planning, cold calls, problem-solving, drafting and subsequent verification of proposals etc.

Recommendations
The course was extremely interesting and useful, and, as such, was well-received. However, there are some points worth being taken into consideration when revising the course. First, the timetable of the NSEC was too tight. As a result, many attendees said that it was difficult for them to process a huge amount of information in a relatively short amount of time. Had the attendees been given more time, they would have delivered better results and would have learnt more. Second, many attendees have claimed that it would have been interesting to have learnt more about the current situation in the water treatment industry to have a grasp of the bigger picture. This understanding bodes well for their future success in the field, and, as such, should be fostered henceforth.
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#458

Сообщение paveltashkinov »

Write your essay in 240–280 words.

Rich and famous
Ask children what they want to be when they grow up, and many will answer, ‘to be famous’, ‘to be a celebrity
and wear nice clothes’, or ‘to be rich and have loads of cars and houses’. Is there anything wrong with that? Many
people will say there is, but surely having high aspirations is a good thing? If these children really want to achieve
their goals, they will have to work hard and push themselves to the limit. Without ambitions, even somewhat
vague ones like these, young people are unlikely to achieve anything much at all.

More to life than raw ambition
It is completely unrealistic to expect that most children in a classroom will achieve great success in material terms
or in their chosen field. Not all will end up living in big houses and driving fancy cars. Some will end up in
relatively low-paid employment, living in a small house or flat and driving a second-hand car. Not everyone can be
the managing director of a company or the principal of a university. This doesn’t necessarily mean that they can’t
lead a fulfilling life. There is no reason why they can’t enjoy their jobs, have loving families, plenty of friends and
lots of hobbies to bring them joy.


The overarching theme of the two texts is children’s aspirations gravitating to fame and success.

Nowadays, more and more young people are seen to be striving towards renown and prosperity. That prompts some people to claim that the youth has grown increasingly materialistic. However, does this ambition deserve being frowned upon? The critics, perhaps, should reserve their judgement.

In fact, this desire of the youth is often backed up by something more tangible. Many young people understand that their ambitions would not amount to something lasting without due diligence. They are willing to test their mettle and work assiduously, because only in this way shall they ripe the well-deserved fruit of their labour.

That said, is having the ambitions of the youth fulfilled always tantamount to living a life full of contentment? After all, there is more to life than material wealth alone. It is perhaps this idea that should be impregnated in children’s minds. Rather than wasting their time and effort in a nebulous race towards obscene levels of wealth, young people should prioritise their social relations and the idea of being of use to the community, because therein lies the key to a fulfilling life.

What young people should bear in mind is that not only is getting ahead in life moneywise and career-wise painstakingly difficult, but that there may be no sign of equality between money and happiness down the road. Although career, fame and money may make their lives easier, they may not bring them closer to their ideal version of themselves and their vision of a fulfilling life.

After all, a fulfilling life is impossible without meaningful social connections, a loving family, and some avocations that will bring joy. In their pursuit of material wealth, many people have sacrificed these, only to come to regret their choice later on. I believed it is the life experience of these embittered people that young people should first take note of when setting their life priorities.
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#459

Сообщение paveltashkinov »

"Ripe" should be "ripen."
Impregnated>>implanted
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#460

Сообщение Eager Beaver »

paveltashkinov пишет: 29 июл 2019, 03:26 Impregnated>>implanted
Или просто planted.

Можете рассказать, почему вы использовали In fact и After all в начале абзацев? Такое ощущение, что и то и другое не к месту.
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#461

Сообщение Eager Beaver »

paveltashkinov пишет: 28 июл 2019, 15:51 not only is getting ahead in life moneywise and career-wise painstakingly difficult, but that there may be no sign of equality between money and happiness down the road
Здесь не параллельно получилось:
not only is getting ahead in life moneywise and career-wise painstakingly difficult,
but
that there may be no sign of equality between money and happiness down the road
В первой части напрашивается: not only is it painstakingly difficult to get ahead...
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#462

Сообщение paveltashkinov »

An international magazine has asked readers to send in articles on the topic of independence. You decide to write an article in which you describe your first job. You should explain what you learnt from the experience and say how it helped you to develop as a person.
Write your article.

Learning the Ropes
How being a coke oven plant operator became the first step on a great career ladder.

I must have turned 20 that year. The third year of studying chemistry at university had been left behind, and I was left with the prospect of idling the summer away. I was young, ambitious, and strapped for cash. A perfect combo if you are looking for a job. Luckily, one of my friends had the experience of working as an operator at a local coke plant, so we had a brief Q&A session. The next day, I found myself applying for the job.

There I was, sporting my new steel-toed boots and a white helmet, getting used to the acrid smell of coke oven gas and the howl of the turbine mounted at the heart of the workshop. Of course, I had already known something about this plant. I mean, I had a rather vague understanding of how its flow chart looked like and how some pieces of equipment worked. But nothing could have really prepared me to what lie ahead!

From the outsider’s viewpoint, it must be enlightening to see how every machine works. It may sound impressive, but less so if you are an operator like me back then. I climbed over and crawled under every piece of machinery, from gas coolers to turbines, from tar clarifiers to centrifugal pumps. I never knew what the shift ahead had in store. One day, it was a plain sailing. I would stroll about the plant, check some gauges and valves, adjust the backpressure of the turbine, sample coke oven gas to be analysed. Next shift, everything seemed to be going haywire. Some valves would get clogged with tar, and I would have a hell of a time replacing it. The gas flow would fluctuate, and I would be constantly adjusting it every two minutes, running to and fro…

However tedious it may seem to have been, every day at my first job was worth it. Did it help me become more responsible and independent? I guess it did. It is empowering to be working some real job and to be earning some real money for the first time in your life. Did it advance my professional development? It did. After working there, my understanding of how chemical processes are scaled up became more comprehensive. I got the grasp of a bigger picture. More importantly, this experience nurtured the sense that I had chosen the right career path. I understood that going into chemical engineering was what I should go for.

Above all, though, my first job helped me understand that great careers do not build themselves overnight. To get where you want to be career-wise, you need to get a head start and roll up your sleeves. You rarely think about these things as you sign up your first job offer. Rather, it is only after some years have flown by that the significance of your first job dawns on you. So, never shy away of the challenge ahead, for it may bring you closer to the career of your dream.
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#463

Сообщение paveltashkinov »

I guess I got carried away with my thoughts. I'll try to make this piece more condense.
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#464

Сообщение Easy-Breezy English »

paveltashkinov, that was a fun read. I didn't realize you were a chem major.

The text is pretty remarkable in the way you managed to stay away from all those fancy words and oversized sentences. It's engaging and flows well.

Here are a few things.
a coke oven plant operator
I'd drop oven. Too long. A coke plant operator.
the first step on a great career ladder.
A great career ladder is too pompous. Make it my career ladder, exciting career ladder or something like that.
The third year of studying chemistry at university had been left behind, and I was left with the prospect of idling the summer away.
Double left. Replace. The first clause is unnecessarily long anyway.
The next day, I found myself applying for the job.

There I was, sporting my new steel-toed boots and a white helmet,
This sounds like you showed up for the interview wearing steel-toed boots and a white helmet. Quite a spectacle.

Of course, I had already known something about this plant. I mean, I had a rather vague understanding
The past perfect in the first sentence is unnecessary. And these two sentences don't come together well. Restate.
E.g.,
I knew something about this plant, but my understanding of how it worked was rather vague.
OR
I knew something about this plant. I mean, I had a general idea of how ....
paveltashkinov пишет: 01 авг 2019, 02:06 From the outsider’s viewpoint, it must be enlightening to see how every machine works
I don't think enlightening is the right word here. Fascinating maybe.

Ok, I'll skip to the conclusion.
paveltashkinov пишет: 01 авг 2019, 02:06 you need to get a head start
This is a strange way of putting it. Normally, someone/something gives us a hard start. We don't get it ourselves, the way your phrase seems to imply.
paveltashkinov пишет: 01 авг 2019, 02:06 as you sign up your first job offer
As you sign your first employment contract or just get your first job.
paveltashkinov пишет: 01 авг 2019, 02:06 never shy away of the challenge ahead
Shy away from.

Oh, one more thing...
paveltashkinov пишет: 01 авг 2019, 02:06 I would stroll about the plant, ... sample coke oven gas to be analysed.
This sounds like you were trying coke. Better:
I would take samples of...
But this could be some professional lingo, I'm not sure.
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#465

Сообщение paveltashkinov »

Easy-Breezy English,
Thanks a lot for your feedback! Now that I've read your comments, I have to admit they make perfect sense.
Sample is perfectly legit, though. This term belongs to the chemistry vernacular. You may sample some gas or some water to be analyzed later on.

Yes, I studied organic chemistry and chemical engineering. I graduated from my uni in 2015.
I was intent on getting a post-grad degree in chemistry, but my plans (luckily!) didn't avail to something more tangible.
I am happy to be working in the industry and to have steered clear of pure science.)
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#466

Сообщение Easy-Breezy English »

paveltashkinov пишет: 01 авг 2019, 13:02 Yes, I studied organic chemistry and chemical engineering
Cool. But a fairly dangerous occupation healthwise. Isn't it?
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#467

Сообщение paveltashkinov »

Easy-Breezy English,
I have been working in the water treatment industry during the last three and a half years. Wouldn't have it any other way.
Healthwise, it's not as bad as it would have been had I stayed at the coke oven plant.)
The company I am working for is crazy about safety, so they go an extra mile to mitigate any possible health risks.
As part of my responsibilities, I have to visit some customers sites, like mills and power plants.
There may be some occupational hazards, but those seem to be few and far between. Besides, I use PPE if need be.
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#468

Сообщение paveltashkinov »

A monthly magazine about social issues has asked readers to send in articles on worthy causes. You decide to write an article in which you describe a charity you support, explain how and why you support it, and assess its importance for the community.
Write your article in 280-320 words.


So It Goes: Bringing the man back into journalism
Charitableness remains something that most of us wouldn’t be comfortable to talk about. We all know that standing up for a just cause and lending a helping hand to those who need it is good. However, how many of us can claim to have contributed to some good cause?
Perhaps, many of us would if we were more aware of how such donations could be done. That is the idea behind ‘So It Goes’, an NGO project aimed at raising public’s awareness of various social issues plaguing our country. Situated at the juncture between journalism and charity, the project sheds light on the plight of usual people from all walks of life. The victims of domestic violence, the refugees, the homeless, the destitute, the orphans – it is the fates and struggles of those people living on the fringes of our society, largely unnoticed, that the project sheds light on.
I happen to be one of the 50000 subscribers and contributors to the project who regularly donate. I must admit that I have learnt about this project by chance, accidentally coming across its website while flicking through my newsfeed. What urged me to chip in with my first contribution was an article about the project set out to help the blind see again. With me being short-sighted for as long as I can remember myself, it comes as no surprise that I felt compassionate and made my first contribution upon reading the last line of the article. I remained a subscriber and a contributor ever after.
We are living in a society plagued with materialism and indifference. In this kind of socio-political climate, it is important to remain humane and to act with dignity, compassion, and conscience. I believe that our contributions to charities, no matter how small they may seem to be, are extremely important. Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.
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#469

Сообщение Easy-Breezy English »

paveltashkinov пишет: 01 авг 2019, 14:37 I have been working in the water treatment industry during the last three and a half years.
Pavel, your job sounds like a lot of fun. Certainly more so than менагеры of all sorts.
Respect!
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#470

Сообщение paveltashkinov »

Easy-Breezy English,
Well, it's quite challenging and, I guess, remunerative.
Besides, it's reassuring to know that the company you're working for cherishes you and recognizes your impact. The logic is pretty straightforward. Deliver what is expected, excel at what you do, push it to the limit, ripe the benefits. Luckily, I seem to have been doing well thus far.
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#471

Сообщение Easy-Breezy English »

paveltashkinov, for remunerative you could have just said it pays well. :-)
You are a lucky guy. It's rare these days to find an occupation that would be fulfilling like this.
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#472

Сообщение Easy-Breezy English »

Pavel, this seems weaker than your usual writing.
Some repetition, lack of good structure, and generally muddled. Done in a hurry, perhaps?
So It Goes: Bringing the man back into journalism
I don't normally obsess over PC, but here you should really replace man.
Charitableness remains something that most of us wouldn’t be comfortable to talk about.
...comfortable talking about
I'd rephrase the whole sentence:
For many of us, charitable giving is an awkward subject (to talk about).
However, how many of us can claim to have contributed to some good cause?
Perhaps, many of us would if we were more aware of how such donations could be done.
Many of us would what? Claim to have contributed? Or contribute? Unclear.
The victims of domestic violence, the refugees,... the orphans
You habitually overuse the definite article. Why are you making these groups specific? Try replacing the with those. It doesn't work.
I happen to be one of the 50000 subscribers and contributors to the project who regularly donate.
You never mentioned that this was an online/Instagram/FB/whatever project, so subscribers was unexpected.
Instead of contributors who regularly donate, it's better to say regular contributors.
Separate groups of thousands with a comma:
50,000
I must admit that I have learnt about this project by chance, accidentally coming across its website while flicking through my newsfeed.
Why the present perfect here? This is ancient history. Why "I must admit"? Are you ashamed you were reading your newsfeed? Accidentally is not great following by chance.
What urged me to chip in with my first contribution was an article about the project set out to help the blind see again.
You can chip in when your coworkers are buying a gift for your boss. Not a great verb to use in the context of this essay.
it is important to remain humane
Humane sounds haughty here. It implies that you are in a position of power.

Generally, you are back to unnecessarily long sentences. It muffles your message.
Also, if I may make a suggestion, maybe it's a good idea for you to stay away from these sentimental, feel-good topics, at least for a while.
Just a thought.
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#473

Сообщение paveltashkinov »

Easy-Breezy English,
Makes sense. I didn't really put much thought into this last piece. I need to recharge my batteries and write something more light-hearted.
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#474

Сообщение Easy-Breezy English »

paveltashkinov пишет: 02 авг 2019, 18:38 I didn't really put much thought into this last piece.
Yeah, it kind of transpired. I've come to expect something of a higher caliber from you. :-)
paveltashkinov пишет: 02 авг 2019, 18:38 write something more light-hearted.
Totally. Please do. :-) Like more of that coke-something stuff. That was fun.
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#475

Сообщение paveltashkinov »

Easy-Breezy English,
Frankly, it feels like I have exhausted my supply of topics for writing.
I doubt there any C1-C2 coursebooks that I haven't encountered before and that would furnish some food for thought.
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