CPE Writing

[Easy-Breezy English]

paveltashkinov, bravo! This is A LOT more readable than your original piece.

A couple of little things.

Try not to make your paragraphs too short. (Your first paragraph is.) Aim at about five sentences, with a minimum of three.

Their desire to quench (the/their) thirst for knowledge and keep abreast of any changes (Changes in what? Unclear) is bound to pay off.

... it is a wonderful opportunity to unleash (Wrong word. We usually unleash something negative or wild, like the fury or the evil) a better version of ourselves

[paveltashkinov]

Okay. I was thinking about 'reveal' at first, but then I dismissed it.
Again, thanks for your feedback, Easy-Breezy English!
I'l try to jot down something else later.

[Easy-Breezy English]

Okay. I was thinking about 'reveal' at first, but then I dismissed it.

Reveal is better, but it implies that you are already a better version of yourself, and it just needs to manifest itself. While your essay seems to suggest that there's some work to be done.
I’d stick with become, create or achieve, but that’s me, a simple girl. ))

[paveltashkinov]

Easy-Breezy English,
Truth be told, I would like to focus my attention elsewhere. After all, I passed CPE about a year ago. For the time being, I have no intention of retaking CPE until 2020. Besides, I am simply tired af of writing those cliched essays and reports. I found myself in a creative rut.
I didn't have an intention of resuscitating this thread, but - it happened. I was simply thinking about writing something for the sake of honing my skills, that's it. Yet I seem to be struggling to come up with some kind of writing that would tickle my fancy and would help me make my writing more precise and less odd. Do you happen to have some ideas about what kind of activities would be useful for me? What kind of texts should I write?

[Easy-Breezy English]

paveltashkinov, you have the gift of words, so I'd recommend looking into creative writing classes online. You might even find something that's free. You'll work with like-minded people and get the feedback you need.

In the meantime, have you tried this: http://fiftywordstories.com/?

A 50-word story is a piece of fiction written in exactly 50 words. That doesn’t mean “roughly” 50 words; it doesn’t mean “as close to 50 words as possible”; it doesn’t mean 50 words or fewer. It means exactly 50 words.

It's creative, yet trains you to use your words wisely.

[Eager Beaver]

paveltashkinov,
Sorry for barging in, and you can ignore my question of course if you want to, but could you tell me how you managed to learn this wealth of formal vocabulary?

[Eager Beaver]

unleash (Wrong word. We usually unleash something negative or wild, like the fury or the evil) a better version of ourselves

Collocations with unleash have been widely used in self-help literature. Unleash your creativity / passion / potential / writing power / etc. seem quite natural to me.

[paveltashkinov]

Eager Beaver,
Reading does wonders. Apparently, it all boils down to the books we choose to read.)
Apart from that, my vocabulary seems to have benefited from some SAT and GRE wordlists, as well as from vocabulary.com with its lists like '1000 words every middle-schooler should know', '100 academic words starting with A' etc.). So, looks like I've learned something here, there, and everywhere.
Besides, it's been quite a while since I started to amass my vocabulary.
More than five years elapsed since the moment I reached B2 and embarked upon a CAE prep course.

[Eager Beaver]

paveltashkinov,
I doubt that reading alone can get you this far. You can't but have to work out your vocabulary muscle in other ways. Otherwise, the words you come across just don't stick. I mean, some of them do but I can't get rid of the feeling that I can do better (and I'm in no position to complain about my memory).

[paveltashkinov]

Eager Beaver,
Good old drilling and jotting down some word cards have also been helpful, as has my habit of keeping a diary.

[Eager Beaver]

Eager Beaver,
Good old drilling and jotting down some word cards have also been helpful, as has my habit of keeping a diary.

Do you use paper cards or software like Quizlet or Anki?

[paveltashkinov]

Eager Beaver,
I used paper cards.

[Easy-Breezy English]

unleash (Wrong word. We usually unleash something negative or wild, like the fury or the evil) a better version of ourselves

Collocations with unleash have been widely used in self-help literature. Unleash your creativity / passion / potential / writing power / etc. seem quite natural to me.

Sure, but not in the context of Pavel's essay.

We can only un-leash something that was on a leash to begin with. In other words, we can unleash things that we normally prefer to keep in check. It can either be something negative (evil, fury) or something wild (passion, creativity, inner child/beast, and the like). Things in the latter category, while not necessarily negative in themselves, tend to be unruly, irrational, uncivilized and overpowering, and therefore potentially destructive.

It makes sense to use this word in self-help literature aimed at people suffering from inhibitions of all sorts. It would also work if you were, say, a hippy or an artist. Then unleashing a better version of yourself would mean casting off your inhibitions and embracing your true self. Whatever that might mean.

However, Pavel's essay is on learning, so this word just doesn't work. The kind of a better version of ourselves that Pavel seems to refer to is attained by hard work and discipline rather than by unleashing of any kind.

(OMG. Am I getting verbose? Is this contagious????)

[paveltashkinov]

Easy-Breezy English,
I've just tried to jot down a fifty-words story. It kinda sucks, but still, I like that challenge.

Another woman embarked on a malicious quest in metaphors, drenched in innuendo. Her rival heard her out with equanimity.
The bizarre triangle turned back into the line it used to be. To his relief, he outwitted them both.
How to become an adult? Commit adultery and get away with it.

[acapnotic]

OMG. Am I getting verbose?

Not at all. Not every thought can be expressed in a couple of words.

[the Tempter]

Вы, Павел, явно перечитали учебной литературы высоких уровней. Вам теперь нужно массированно читать простую развлекательную литературу типа Шелдона. У вас нарушено представление о том какой должна быть обычная речь. Поэтому не нужно ничего писать (нет смысла, навык и так есть), читайте примитивную литературу.

[Easy-Breezy English]

Easy-Breezy English,
I've just tried to jot down a fifty-words story. It kinda sucks, but still, I like that challenge.

Another woman embarked on a malicious quest in metaphors, drenched in innuendo. Her rival heard her out with equanimity.
The bizarre triangle turned back into the line it used to be. To his relief, he outwitted them both.
How to become an adult? Commit adultery and get away with it.

Pavel, it's whimsical in a cute way. I like it. The triangle turning back into a line is brilliant. So is the adult/adultery play on words. Very nice! It reads almost like a haiku. Why don't you try actually submitting it?

Here's another challenge in brevity for you. Can you describe your life in six words?

[Easy-Breezy English]

Поэтому не нужно ничего писать (нет смысла, навык и так есть), читайте примитивную литературу.

I disagree. I see a talent here. Hundreds of thousands of people can write good old bland prose in a generic style. But how many of us can really use словеса like that? And for Pavel it comes naturally. It's cool. I'm starting to feel like an Эллочка-людоедка next to him.

[Easy-Breezy English]

paveltashkinov, can I take the liberty of recommending a book to you? I was thinking that you might find this useful:
The Sense of Style: The Thinking Person's Guide to Writing in the 21st Century

It's entertaining and very practical. And it has some great examples of how to add more punch to your writing.

This:
Individuals with metal health issues can become dangerous. It is important to approach this subject from a variety of strategies, including mental health assistance but also from a law enforcement perspective.

... turns into this:
People who are mentally ill can become dangerous. We need to consult mental health professionals, but we also may have to inform the police.

* * *
I have serious doubts that trying to amend the Constituion would work on an actual lever. On the aspirational level, however, a constitutional amendment strategy may be more valuable -->

I doubt that trying to amend the Constitution would actually succeed, but it may be valuable to aspire to it. (p. 49)

[alanta]

Поэтому не нужно ничего писать (нет смысла, навык и так есть), читайте примитивную литературу.

I disagree. I see a talent here. Hundreds of thousands of people can write good old bland prose in a generic style. But how many of us can really use словеса like that? And for Pavel it comes naturally. It's cool. I'm starting to feel like an Эллочка-людоедка next to him.

You shouldn't. Pavel's writing style might seem cool but the problem is that it's the only style he can write in. Had he been able to switch between formal and informal language, or for instance mix slang and highbrow words in a right proportion in his writing it would've been cool.

[Eager Beaver]

We can only un-leash something that was on a leash to begin with. In other words, we can unleash things that we normally prefer to keep in check. It can either be something negative (evil, fury) or something wild (passion, creativity, inner child/beast, and the like). Things in the latter category, while not necessarily negative in themselves, tend to be unruly, irrational, uncivilized and overpowering, and therefore potentially destructive.

You are right in that Pavel used the incorrect collocation, but wrong in that "we can unleash things that we normally prefer to keep in check". I'd say that we can unleash anything that happens to be on a leash (not necessarily with your intent). Things like creativity and confidence aren't destructive, unruly or irrational, per se, at least they are never treated as such in self-help books. Besides, by unleashing the authors don't necessarily mean a quick and easy way of becoming super creative or overly confident to a destructive degree. Obviously, you can't snap your fingers today and become self-confident tomorrow. In fact, they usually refer to methods and techniques that, if applied consistently, can help you become a better version of yourself in whatever field you feel needs improvement. Anyways, what I'm saying is that the usage of "unleash" is not restricted to the use cases you described.

[paveltashkinov]

Write a short (about one-and-a-half to two pages) essay on the topic below.
Your essay will be judged on clarity and overall effectiveness, as well as on topic development, organization, and the range, accuracy, and appropriateness of your grammar and vocabulary. You will have 30 minutes to write on the topic.

In many countries, teenagers take on part-time jobs while they are still students. do you think it is a good idea? support your opinion using specific reasons and examples.

Should students take part-time jobs while they are still pursuing their academic endeavours?
As an ex-student who used to work and study simultaneously and seems to have succeeded both at work and in university, I think they definitely should do so. Not because they have to eke out a meager living and sustain themselves, but because it would be a waste of precious time to act otherwise.
Not only does a part-time job broaden students' horizons, but it also fosters their diligence. In fact, it is an exceptionally good reality check. Nowadays, lots of young people fresh out of universities seem to erroneously believe that they are entitled to everything simply on the basis of their academic qualifications and will therefore easily land a job. Nothing can be further from the truth nowadays, when the problem of unemployment is dire, and when even the brightest fail to carve out a career of their dream. That is exactly why students should be encouraged to embark upon a part-time job as early as possible. Otherwise, they will be bitterly disappointed when they have to make a step from the world of make-believe into the world of reality upon their graduation.
Some people may raise their objections to the students being employed, and claim that the focus of their attention should lie solely in the realm of science. They cannot have it both. Although I can concede to the point made, I would nonetheless beg to differ. In my view, a part-time job plays an instrumental part in developing a well-round personality of the student insofar as it does not impinge on his academic performance. Furthermore, some students may be lucky enough to work in the area directly related to or considerably overlapping with their academic interests. In this scenario, they are bound to gain valuable on-hand experience as well as learn something beyond their curriculum. Consequently, they will find themselves being in a more advantageous position than those of their peers when they are looking for a job after university.
To conclude, if chosen wisely, a part-time job can offer a veritable cornucopia of benefits for students. That said, students should always keep their academic priorities in sight and pay due attention to their academic disciplines. Only when they manage to strike this balance will they get the best of both worlds.

[Mary May]

Very nice! It reads almost like a haiku...

Please, not haiku!.. Anything but haiku )
Because they are sth essentially and completely different: "three-liners" written in the simplest possible words, so humble and unsophisticated as they seem, but revealing loads of meaning, layer by layer...
Or, maybe, keeping their meaning inside, hidden from an incurious, indifferent or quick reader )
But never ever making your brain burst by their OVER-whatever: whim, brilliance, cuteness, "high-browedness"... - all the things Easy-Breezy praises Pavel's writing for.

[Easy-Breezy English]

Very nice! It reads almost like a haiku...

Please, not haiku!.. Anything but haiku )

Alright, alright, don’t take this quite so seriously. :-) Come on, give the guy some credit. His writing has got character, and that’s more than I can say about the vast majority of such essays.

[paveltashkinov]

His writing has got character, and that’s more than I can say about the vast majority of such essays.

Therein lies the rub, I'm afraid.