paveltashkinov,
I'm not going to dissect your post point by point
as I sometimes do when explicitly requested.
It's not quite clear what your goal was...
Writing a killer essay?
Demonstrating your writing skills?
Fishing for compliments?
Fighting boredom ? )
Rehearing the most stuffy speech ever written ?
Anyway,in
my opinion this post would probably make a decent essay.
Probably .. because I'm not familiar with essay requirements.
Other than that .. brace yourself.)
Ready?
Here goes..
Your post is extremely bookish and unnatural.
I'm probably repeating myself but nobody in his sound mind would ever
utter things like:
Knowledge, or acquisition thereof, has always been at the kernel of humanistic principles and propelled humanity forward.
or
Is the learning process time-bound, or does it have an ongoing nature which manifests itself with our first breath and ceases when we shuffle off the mortal coil?
in real life.
People just don't talk like that.
Even if the idea was to emulate an academic writing style ... it came across as a rather poor imitation.
Using complicated formulas/structures as :
Neuroscience furnishes further evidence in corroboration of the counter-argument, and conclusively muffles the voices...
or
Therein lies one of the greatest treasures that learning and education bestow upon us.
doesn't make you sound sophisticated.
It makes you sound like ...nkaper for lack of a better word ).
Forget those ridiculous essays.
You've already passed that stage.Congrats.
Write something in
Practise your English,instead.
Something that we might find interesting and worthy of discussion.
It's time to move on,buddy )